Friday, 9 December 2011

It covers your bum like pedigree chum.......

I'm sure all of us pretty much remember this rhyme, and we got reminded of it at 6.00am Sunday morning.

Its our holiday story....except its alot different to all the others.

It all started on Thursday 24th Nov, we were set to go on holiday on the coming Saturday to Folly Farm in Wales. I had a cake to get finished when I suddenly felt really rotten, a headache from hell, nauseous and bed bound. I spent most of the day grazing on rich tea biscuits, taking nurofen, and napping. Friday came along, I felt a tad better so managed to get some jobs done but risked a few chips for tea....not a good idea, queue the gurgly guts! Adam was adamant we weren't going to go on holiday, but the scrooge that I am, I wasn't wasting the hotel money etc, and I had started to pick up again so on Saturday morning we woke up and set off.......on the 5 hour long journey.

This was the first pit-stop, you can guarantee no matter how many breaks you take you'll be travelling down deserted country roads when you hear a whiny 'I need the toilet' coming from one of the kids in the back.

Halfway there we stopped at Burger King, Abbi had some chicken nuggets, Kai had a mini angus burger, and in true Adam style, he just bought the biggest one off the menu. What did I have? Nurofen and a rich tea biscuit :)

 We were driving for what seemed to be FOREVER, when we hit a familiar piece of road. Beyond that thick fog and mist is a HUGE drop.

The camera couldn't pick it up very well, but it was VERY foggy and the whole place was a weird yellow/red colour. Felt like some horror shit was gunna go down Silent Hill style!

It went dark almost instantly and the drive was too much for some...

We had a quick trip to Tesco to fill up on supplies (more nurofen and biscuits!) and checked into our room.
Abbi was mega excited by this point and was buzzing around like a fly on a donut.

Look at the face.....child possessed! 

A happy Abbi dancing around the room..

Check out my munchies! I know how to party hard LOL

 We had checked into the Travelodge at Pembroke Dock where we had stopped once before and Kai recognised the layout....he bagsied the couch this time.

 Too tired to bring in the travel cot we gave Abbi a go on the pull out bed to see how she would get she is in all her bed-ready-poofy-hairness glory.

Kai gave photography a whirl, and here you can witness Adam in his PJ's :) mwahahaha

 A bit of bedtime reading courtesy of the Travelodge

and also a bit of bedtime TV....yes that's 'In the Night Garden', so we were all pretty much in our PJ's for about 7pm LMAO

And no sleepover would be complete without snacks! Which these two decided to enjoy under the unit.

Caught this picture of Abbi helping herself. Literally seconds after the 'click' I heard 'bap, bap, bap, bap'

O dear..... an entire tub of mini sausages hit the carpet. How appealing do these look......don't you just want to get down on your knees and cram it in your mouth off that lovely multi coloured Travelodge carpet...


More snacks!

Then it was bedtime. Adam went to sleep early due to the five hour drive, and I watched abit of Xfactor. 10.30pm. Light off. Sleep. 'Waaaaaaah'. Check time. 12.45am. Abbi is restless.
Adam climbed onto the bed beside Abbi till she dropped off and then got back in bed. Little did we know the morning was about to get worse.
Sleepy eyed I started to stir..5.45am The only thing I did whilst laying there coming round was thinking...what in Gods name is that smell?
Adam turned over, I thought jeez man that's one rancid ass!
Even Adam had gotten up to shut the bathroom door but when he realised the smell wasn't coming from the bathroom he thought.....'Oh God, has Tracey shit the bed?'
I was still thinking at that point...God Adam you seriously reek!
Neither of us even expected a dirty nappy from Abbi because the smell was so strong.
We both looked around and spotted a small stain on Abbi's Pj's......great, cacked in her pants!
I was still feeling a little ropey and the smell was absolutely immense, so I sat on the bed composing myself for a while. I told Adam to change her in the bathroom and I'd be in, in a minute. Its a good job he did because as he undressed her, he laid her down on the floor and it all just ran out like chicken gravy all up her back. (lovely mental picture for ya!) Where was that damn bible when you needed it - we need to do an exorcism on her bowels because what came out of it was certainly unholy! We used up 2 entire toilet rolls trying to clean up....I mean we were in a Travelodge at 6.00am we didn't exactly have a mop handy. She went straight in the bath whilst me and Adam walked around heaving, cleaning up and bagging up stinky Pj's.

For the rest of the morning she was fine, helping herself to some pringles

I think the smell effected my eyeballs...

Calpol, and me dosed up on Nurofen.

We made it!

One of my favourite parts of the Farm is the huge giftshop! Packed full of lovely stuff that is over priced and you never buy....but its still fun to look!

Cakey shelves!

Breakfast time, Abbi had some plain ham butties, and the rest of us had some sausage butties, I braved half of mine before chickening out, the last thing I need on a farm is to be running round holding my ass in a field looking for a toilet.

Only us in for breakfast then?

The huge play area

 Abbi getting ready to go down the slide

Driving the boats

Riding the new big wheel....VERY windy!

Adam wants to get off.....

We saw the Zoo, the farm animals, went on lots of rides (well I went on the Helter Skelter with Kai but came off very wobbly after only eating rich tea biscuits for a few days!)

All the way to folly farm to see a robin.

and an alpaca...

Meerkats!! I'm not going to make a meerkat joke. I'm really not!

 Giraffes are amazing.....FACT

The kids on the rides....he he :)

 Santa's Grotto


Yay it's Santa! Though the dude really needs some help getting dressed...I'm not diggin those boot covers....why didn't he just wear boots!?

Last thing to do was the tractor ride

Tea time!...What was open....nothing but McDonalds!

Another early night for us.....there's a 5 hour drive awaiting us the next morning and I think everyone could do with a good kip. Gurgly guts....whats that? no early night for Tracey....just more toilet trips. Lovely. Thank you half sausage butty!

It was safe to say we couldn't WAIT to get home. 5 hours is a long time and we were praying every second that the time would go quicker! In the morning, up, dressed and dosed up for the day. Lets get home!!
We were in the car for 10 minutes when we heard another whiny voice from the back 'I've got stomach ache'. I turned round to see a very pale Kai....
'Ok Adam, we need to pull over...'
 'Arggghhh I just want to get home!'
Kai jumped out the car and heaved all over the grass.....lovely, just what we need on a 5 hour car trip!
This holiday could not get any worse. He went to sleep in the car, and a few hours later thankfully he was as right as rain. We watched Lady and the Tramp, and then Gremlins. Kai giggled at the exact same part as I did as a kid......the cat lady getting shot out of her stairlift :) hee hee

 We got home...all went upstairs and again....were in bed for 7pm. We wont be planning any trips like that again for a LONG TIME. I don't think my guts can stand it!

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