Your joining us for Blackpool Day 1, Part 2.
Ok so as the Valhalla was our last ride we headed off back to the hotel to dry off and get changed, that night I had booked us tickets to go and see Ken Webster. Who the hell is that? He's a comedy hypnotist, and does a damn good job of it. His show was in the horseshoe bar on the Pleasure Beach.
We could finally take our first peek at our room, small, basic, abit rundown but CLEAN - and that's all we could ask for really.
As I had got soaked through I had to dampen the rest if my hair and go curly instead. As usual for blokes they take literally one minute to get ready and 5 minutes on the bog. A quick spray under the pits, shirt on, and then they sit on the crapper stinking the place out till its time to go.
I was desperate for Adam to get hypnotized it would be absolutely hilarious. I would have tried to video a bit and play it at the wedding muaahahahaha. 'Not a bloody chance' was all I got, I also got swear words and threats after the 5th time of asking him. 'Go on...', 'no bloody way, I'm not getting up there and being made a tit of'. Such a shame, he would have made a PERFECT candidate lol.
In true Tracey style nothing runs smoothly and we got half way to the bar when I had to make Adam go back and get the tickets out of the hotel room *slap head* doh!
When we FINALLY got in, it was almost pitch black we had to try and find a seat (not many left!) and I found some, RIGHT at the front alongside the runway.
'Im not sitting there! If you put my hand up I'm going to kill you...I'm not getting up'
'Stop being a wuss and just sit down for god sake!'
He pulled out his little lip went to the bar, and then sat down, 'I'm telling you, I'm not getting up!'
Ken Webster must be a horror fan (good lad!) as the intro played the exorcist music and then Michael came out to collect paper from the audience....Camera out for that!
Yeah see, I told you we were right at the front LOL you can see right up Michael's latex nostrils
The first part of the show was all mind games where he would prove to the audience he could tell someone what to write and draw etc. I'm not going to explain the whole show as it would be pointless anyone going! So lets get onto the good part....the hypnotized victims.
There's one thing you should know about Ken Webster...hes rude...if you cant take a joke, don't bother going! Me and Adam thought he was hilarious.
He called various members of the audience, served unbelievable insults, and made a few risky comments to a Nigerian bloke.
After hypnotizing loads of the volunteers he settled on 4 people he thought would be best to use. 2 average young blokes, an older dumpy looking woman who was dressed in a very short figure hugging dress, so tight you could make out the outlines of every ounce of cellulite, and a well dressed older woman who was VERY posh from St Annes.
He had them river dancing, doing gay aerobics, and had the dumpy woman screaming to everyone that her name was pissflaps. He then told the poor souls that when they woke up they would not be able to see him. He clicked his fingers, and started moving furniture around, the four on stage got very jumpy at the ghostly goings on, and then jumped off their seats when this character appeared:
The puppet from the Saw movies! They ran across the stage and were hiding behind a screen, Ken had told one of them that he would obey what the puppet says. Then its voice boomed out 'I want to play a little game, If one of you doesn't come round here and suck my **** right now, all of you are going to die'. Obviously everyone is terrified thinking they are going to die and one bloke emerges from behind the screen. Mrs Posh starts screaming for him to come back as he steps towards the puppet and gets down on his hands and knees. I'm just glad he mimicked the action and didn't try to remove the puppets pants!! :S
The puppet laughed, and then disappeared off stage. Ken walks back on and Mrs Posh starts complaining (bear in mind she hadn't uttered any swear words and had been very sensible and dignified throughout the entire thing) Ken said 'Whats wrong with you all, I only went for a wee!' Mrs Sensible says 'I'm Sorry but this has gone too far...what the F**K was that!' which made the whole room roar :)
He did a few other bits and pieces but then came the male stripper part. He told the boys that they were the best strippers around, but would not remove an intimate clothing or touch anyone, but then ended it with 'Oh hell do what you want! Its Blackpool!'. The music came on and they started to strip. One lad was stripping like lightening...shirt off, pants off...
The other guy had only started unbuttoning his shirt at this point and started dancing up to Ken, as Ken was so preoccupied being chased and laughing that by the time he looked round the young lad was stood there starkers in front of the entire audience with his sausage swaying to the beat. He ran over pulled his boxers up for him and said 'WIDE AWAKE, WIDE AWAKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'
His poor Fiancee' was in the audience, as well as HIS FUTURE MOTHER AND FATHER IN LAW. Cringe!
He had to apologize and say it doesn't usually happen and he always catches them before they totally strip off. But he probably wasn't expecting to spawn a stripper with a sugar rush.
Adam absolutely loved the show and was roaring with laughter the entire time and is even happier that I didn't make him go up!...I am too for that matter, last thing I want to see is a gorilla man stripper! :D love ya really Goon :)
We called for some essential donuts, you cant go to Blackpool and not have donuts! And went back to the hotel.
They don't look amazingly appetizing here in the bag looking like Mrs Dumpy's bingo wings in a circle, but they tasted yummy!
I wont tell you where Adam was sat when he took this picture lol, 5 minutes sitting before going out and 5 minutes when coming back in!